my childs name

I dont want any children right now because I am only in highschool thats why I havent really thought about what I want my childrens names to be. I dont think I will be thinking about that kind of stuff for a long time because I still want to get through high school and go through college. Than I want to find a good husband and we would discuss the childrens names together.

I dont really think about childrens names because I never wanted any children. But I think Hannah is really pretty name and I like my name to so maybe I would just think about naming my kid after me. Or maybe ill name her something like Celine or Christine or Abby because they are my best friends but not only that its alwso because I think their names are really pretty. But the thing is I wont know what iw ant o name my kid because I havent seen it yet. I might be one of those parents that need to see their child then we automatically know what we want our childs name to be. I want my child to have a good and fun life like what I have in school so maybe ill name them after me and my friends.

I have always liked the name Margarite because thats my sisters name and I think its really pretty so I might name my daughter after that. If I had son than I would name him something like Tom or Chris or Hank or something. Something that is simple but sounds really nice and manly. I want my boy to grow up to be a stong man. I would be so sad if my boy turned out to be a realy femine boy and gets pushed around by other boys. I think names are really important thats why iw ould really think hard about what I want to name my kids. But I think the people around me like my friends and family all have really pretty and nice names. Plus I would look into what my kids name would mean. Like if it means pretty or honest or pure but yea you know what I mean.

I want my kids name to be kind of exotic so I might name her Cat or Kisses because it sounds really cute and pretty. I want names that will sound pretty and also when you write it out its really cute and pretty. I want my kids to have good names that means a lot.

stream of thoughts what i want to be

when I grow up I think i would really want to be something that everyone wants to be. I would want to be a person who loves doing her job. I would really not want to be the type of person that hates doing what they do for a living. I never really thought about what i want to do for a job but the thing is. wait right now i am supose to write out my stream of conciousness. but I am supose to focus on what i want to do in the futrue. but then agin i never really thought baout what i want to do so i dont really want to write about that. But I guess I should anyway because I am in class right now. Ok so when I gorw up I just want to be maybe a flight attendeant or someone who just travels a lot. I like food so maybe I will word at like a really expensive and high class resteraunt. Oh ok wait I know what I want to do. I know for sure that I will want to marry someone that is at least well off. Because I kno wmyself and I cannot live in a place that is really bad I must have air con when I sleep. Or else I stay awake all night and just get mad at everything I see. I remember just a few days ago my aircon broke in my room and I was so pissed. I started to like randomly hit my air con non stop. Then my parents like changed it. But yea whatever. Ok now I just feel like I should write out my stream on conciouness sincei just like told you want I wanted to be in the future. Ok so my mind right now is relaly blank and actually I dont know what I really wanna do this thing like with this person but I dont think I should because he is a nice guy and like I dont really mnow why I am writing this all out ok nevermind change the subject in my mind. I just wanna like go home right now and like take a nap. Wait nevermind I am not even going to take a nap when I go home because I aint even going I know mi going out with my friends today. I am going to go by some hair dye with her. Ok wait lalalla right now right now ok dog slams door I eat pigs and I love bcaon lets read a book I am leaning on the book shel I think I should really pay attention to what I am typing right now but I really dont want to.l ok bnow I am just closing my eyes and typing random shit . I think what I am wearing today is really cute even abby is dressed really cutly. Wait I wonder what I look like right now. I wish when I grow up ill look the same or not really the samson but I want to be pretty and taller and skiny and I want people to notice me. I think all girls need some sort of attention just to get them going on throught the day. I mean like if you dont give a guy attention the guys get really werid to like everyone needs someone to care about them. Its just the way we work. Ok lets see what is going around in my mind. Right now I leanding on the book shelf ok my last sentence really did not make any sense at all. Ok I will start making sence from now on. So right now whats going through my head is just my body parts are really hurtin like my but because I am sitting in a really weird position. O my god when is this class going to end. I really like typeing and I think it really helps me wait I dont know what I am saying. I want to try to type without making an mistakes because than my dad told me. Well actually I told my dad first that I was a really fast typer and he told me that I should get a job during the summer that has to do with typing and plus the thing is I acctually really like typing things. I dont know what I like to type about but the point is I type really fast and my fingers never really get tired because I am just I dont know ever since I was younger I would always be on MSN messenger. Well ok enough of that. But I think typing can really help me in life who know maybe I could grow up and just type for a living. Haha that woul dbe so dumb because thats like the worlds most boriest job. But omg I just wish so many things about myself would change because the things I wanna be is hard. I am not tall eenough and theres just so many things. I was watching tv and thing Is I just wish I was taller. I am so sleepy right now so I guess ill just take a little nap bnut like what the heck cause mi typing right now mi not even really sleeping my eyes are just closed and mi just typing random things that are poping up in my head well the thing is mi sleeping. Everyone just started laughing at me because mi typing and my eyes are closed. I opened my eyes because I heard some people lallughing. O my god I have no idea what I am doing I wish they would turn off the lights because it is so bright in here. Wow I just typed on like not even 2000. omg I could just actualy copy and paste this whole thing because emy teacher didnt read my last one but I am not like that I actually like to type about things. But right now I really dont know what I am thinking about cause th ething is I am not even thinking about anything. Ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok okok k okokokok kokoko okok ok ok ok ok KO hahah ir eally want to like be goo din boxing or some kind of fighting skills because when I am older maybe I can be something in that type of thing you know yea I know wait no I dont know what I am talking about. But I just want to be something lik emy dad he was was like a really good fighter. Ok I need so like soften what I am typing on right now because I really think that I am like going to break my laptop because I am typing really frekin fast right now an dmy finger nails are making the noises so loud. Actualy I really wish that I coiuld typ faster because typing fast really msakes me feel good I just wish the thing I typed would not be wrong because osmetime when I am typing this stuff I just bfeel like everything that I am typing is wrong you know like the WORD has thing thingy where they make that little red line under the wrong word and I really think theres so many wrong typing in this but it dosent even matter because this I just our stream of our thoughts. And I just wanna practive typing fast because ok when I gorw up either I could do something with computer typiing or like fighting . Those are so different but thats not even the point. Mi just like I odnt kno wi hope I am SOMEHTING when I grow up because mi just I dont wanna be a person that does nothing. I wanna be something and be a good person or something if you know what mi talking about. I am just like sleeping right now obecause my eyes arent even open and I am just getting really bored. I dont even know what everyone else in the class is doing I am kinda just falling asleep in my chair. Anyway we are supose to because ok now I just saying random words ahhhahah iu just became so asian accent haha ok I am going to stp that right now and use actualy right words. But yes so I think I will just narrinate everything thats going around me right now everything I hear I will just type out. So the person next to me just sighed and said shes tired. O yea its celine thats next to me so shes typing fast too but shes already tired. I really like her shoes because they are like really sparkly and pretty. And my other firneds amy xie is on the floor shes actually really fast at typing too. My other friends raffy just went out to bathroom like right now everything mi just typing like everything. I still need to talk about like ehwat I awant to be when ig et older. But I just tol dyou so much about what I want to be so it dosent really matter. And I am not even going to go back to change all of my red lines AKA the mistakes I made all over this thing but thats ok because I dont feel like ogin gback to fix all of that stuff. It dosent even matter theres no right and wrongs. Bla bla bla. I love that song its by KESHA she looks really weird and dirty thats why people thinmk she like dosent shower and stuff but mi pretty sure she showerers because if she dosent that would actualy just be like the grossest thing in the world. Ok so my other friend just went to go ttalk to the teacher and I am just feelling like I am going to fall asleep and my back really hurts because ei am like slouching doiwn on my chair I just want this to end because I am really bored I just want to go on tumblr and do random shit. I think my other classmate is kind of cute if he was taller and like yea actually all he needs to be is taller then I would totally want to go out with him. Our class was so dead and now everyone just started talking again. Which is like really really really really good ok now I am just wasteing a buncha words ha ha ha I feel so stupid. I dont know what I am thinking about right now I just keep syaing that because I dont know what I am doing is the easiest sentence I can type and thats also the fastest sentence I can type. Omg I just want to like stop typing I havent taken a little rest since I started I wonder or I just I am just thinking about what or I mean how many words I have because I really think I am going to die if I keep typing its not that my fingers are hurting its just my back and my butt really hurt nothing is hurts. Its all good. I hope I odnt get some kind of body probelmen when I get older because that might affect what I am going to be when I get oldeer ok now I am just like strentching in my chair I think I am finished thought let me check . BRB

when i look my best

I look best when I am with my friends. Whether its when we are at school or hanging out somewhere out of school. I love when I am with my friends because these aren’t just normal friends. I have known my friends since I was in elementary and we are like family. I love my friends and thats why when I am with them I am always happy. People always look good if they are actually having a good time.

When I am with my friends I feel really good and I if I feel good I will usually have a good outward appearance too. Whenever I go out with my friends I always wanna dress nice and pamper myself. I love looking good and walking around with my friends. When I am with my friends I will always match my clothes nicely so it shows how my body is. I know what types of clothes my body looks good in and what kind of make up matches my face. So whenever I go out with my friends I will always dress nice and look good. Its not just for other people to look at us and stuff. But its actually for myself just to feel good. If I feel good then I will look good. And if I look good then I will usually feel good.

When I am with my friends and we are walking around outside of school we usually dress really nicely like when we go to parties we always try to look our best. Even when I am just with my friends we just want to dress up and go to a random dinner restaurant. We will always make sure that we all look good.

Also I look good when I am with my friends because they always tell me whats wrong with my outfit if I have something wrong. I love it because we are so close to each other that we can just always tell each other if we look bad. So we just change if one of us thinks we look bad. So I dont look like a complete retard when I got out just to hang out with my friends. I am always having a good time when I hang out with my friends. Thats why I think I look the best when I am with them because I am always laughing and smiling and I always look. In my opinion I think my group of friends are already really pretty and the way we dress just enhances our beauty :).

its because we all think we are pretty and other people always tell us we are pretty. We try even harder to look nice. When me and my friends stand together we look good. But thats because we always try to look good. And we always make sure that if one of us look bad than we make that person change. But I love being with my friends because we attract other peoples eyes. WE SHINE.

abby me christine amy and hana :) <3

my favorite essay

My favorite essay or at least one of my favorite essays was about our favorite thing or possessions. It was when I was in elementary I think it was when I was 10 years old and I was in the 6^th grade or maybe the 4^th grade mi not to sure.

But it was my favorite essay because our teacher told us to write about our most priceless possession. I remember when I was around that age there was this necklace that my sister gave me. My sister was always really nice to me because I remember that when I was young I would have problems sleeping and she told me that it was because I was stressed. Then we would always talk about stuff. She always would make me feel better because she was really nice to me and she always made me feel better she would tell me stories and make me things to eat. She was really nice to me and when she left for college she left this necklace for me. It was a black stone looking thing and it was really expensive. And she gave it to me.

She always told me if I ever missed her or anything when she was gone then I should just wear the necklace. When she left I was really sad but I grew up. But I still wear the necklace sometimes because it reminds me of the times when I was younger and I didnt have to worry about things. It was really nice back then I hope I could go back in time sometimes and just redo the things I did for fun.

That was my favorite essay to write about because I thought that just gave me a lot of good memories. And thinking about those times always made me happy. I always loved writing about my past and stuff like that. I now realized how much fun and stuff I had when I was younger.

my best holiday

One of my best holiday experiences is my 5th grade new years eve. My family rarely celebrates other holidays like thanksgiving or Easter. But because my family is really traditionally Chinese we always celebrate Chinese new years.
I use to always look forward to Chinese new years because my parents would always take me and my brother to a big party and people would always give us money. The money would always be wrapped in a red envelope with shiny gold sparkles on it. I remember when I was younger I would get so much money. There would be so many people at all these different parties giving us money. It was really fun.
I really liked my 5th grade Chinese new years party because that was the one year that I went back to Taiwan to celebrate it with my whole entire family. It was a few days before the actual date of New Years and my parents took me and my brother and we flew back to Taiwan. In Taiwan it was the best because there were fireworks and people dressed up as dragons and everything. It was really exciting to be so young and see so many new things. It was really a good experience.
That was also the first year that I celebrated it with my grandparents and uncles and aunties. It was one huge family throwing a big party. I really enjoyed spending all that time with my family in that time. I wish I could go back to those days and not have to worry about the things that I worry about now. And just be free and play with my family. I miss those easy days. I remember when I was in Taiwan that year my mom and dad took me and my brother to go eating at this really big and expensive restaurant. My whole family was there. There were always all these other people or adults that I didnt know. But I didn’t mind going because every party I went to people were always so nice and always gave us new years money. Me and my brother would always save that money and we still do.
We've kept that money ever since we were younger and we never spent it. But now most of it is gone because our parents ended up using it. There was always a lot of money given out on Chinese new years. Also it was really beautiful in Taiwan because there was this huge fireworks entertainment thing on the night of new years eve. There was so many people there and everyone would stand on the mountains or just anywhere in Taiwan. And we all counted together it was really really cool. Then fireworks would shoot our of Taipei 101. it was really pretty and I thought that was my best holiday ever. Spending that time with my family and just everyone being so happy. That was the best year ever.

my mission

My mission as a daughter is to always impress my mom and dad as long as they are still providing for me. My mission is to always do good at school and get perfect grades. Even if I dont get good grade I will always try my best to get an at least acceptable grade. My mission is just to make my parents feel good about having a daughter like me.

My parents go through the whole lot of problems to provide for me. I will always feel as if I want to make them feel happy and I know they are happy if they see me do the things they want me to do. Even if it might not want to be what I want in life. I will always do what my parents ask me to because I respect them. And I think thats its important for children to listen their parents because parents usually know whats best. And a parent will never intentionally try to hurt their own child.

My mission is to always do my best in school and show my parents that they are not wasting money on my education. I will not only do good in school but because my parents are Chinese I will do my best to learn that language. Learning two languages is hard especially when you are already in high school. But I will always do my best and practice it. I just always feel like mi not doing enough for my parents. My main mission is just to make my parents happy. No matter what I have to do and how much I have to put myself through I will do my best. Because I want my parents to be happy.

Teenagers these days always rebel and say terrible things to their parents. And I just feel as if kids like that really dont appreciate their parents. I feel that is one of the worst things u can do. Disrespecting your parents. You should always try to do what your parents want you to do.

When I get older and I am able to provide for myself. I will still always make my mission for my family to have a good life. I just think that mission is really important. Its really hard to always try to impress your parents. Because sometimes even when I am trying really hard to impress my parents but they just dont notice. And instead they notice m y other siblings. Its really hard to complete with siblings sometimes. But I know that every kid in the world wants their parents to be happy for them. But its not always easy. You cant always have everyone love you. No one is perfect

my mission for right now is just to always try my best to be a good student and an almost perfect daughter. I want my parents to be able to be proud when they talk about me. Doesn’t matter how old I am whether its right now or in 20 years. I always want my parents to be proud of me and proud when they talk about me to other people. That would be a really satisfying feeling.

RISKS

When I was younger I took a risk to play with a tiger. I remember I was about 10 years old with my family and we all went to Thailand just for a vacation. My dad always wanted me and my brother to travel a lot of the world so we know everything that happens and what places look like. So my dad always took me and my brother traveling. I rember that when I was younger I was there and I didnt really want to go to Thailand. I had choice to go to Taiwan. But instead I actually took the risk to go to Thailand.

When I first got there I really didnt like it because it was really really hot and I was really bored. But actualy taking the risk and visiting Thailand was actually really fun and I enjoyed my time there. I not only got a lot of time to hang out with my family but I also experienced all these new things that I never even thought about before. Like riding a elephant. And eating alligators. I had a really cool time when I was in Thailand and I really would hope to visit again someday. The risk I took going there was really good and mi happy I took that risk.

But the main thing that I am really glad I took the risk is playing with a tiger. Thats considered a really big risk for me. First of all because the tiger could have eaten me and I could have died. But mi glad I took that risk. The tiger was only about a few months old. Not big enough for it to attack and kill me . But it was still really scary. Mi glad I took I that risk because I learned a lot. I learned that life is so much more fun when you take risks. For me I must live an exciting life so taking risks is really easy for me. I believe that without trying anything at least once you cant really understand or know if you will like it or not.

When I took the risk to play with the tiger I had a lot of fun and the tiger was really sweet and cute and it didnt harm me at all. I enjoyed my time there. And now when people ask me stuff about tigers I could always say. “ I played with a tiger when I was younger” I think thats really cool. I always want to experience things that others havent yet. Thats why my dad always wanted me to travel to all these new places. He thought it would be really nice for me and my brother to know things that others didnt. He always thought that we should experience just about everything possible in life. And I really think so to. Thats why I am so open to everything in life. I am open to taking risks and I am not afraid of loosing anything. When you loose something you just have to find away to make everything ok again. You cant just go through life playing it simple. That way you will never enjoy your life to its fullest.

Taking that risk with that baby tiger was probably one of the first things that I took a risk on. And ever since then I have been open to all these new things. Taking that one risk made me realize that life is just about taking risks and being happy. If you dont take any risks you will never know the best part of everything.

if i could go back in time

If I could choose whatever place to go back in time I think the first place I would really want to go is back in the 5^th grade. It was this one time we all went to this one party at this place called Forbidden island. I was with me and my friends Christine, Abby, Hana, Amy, and Celine. Of course Abby’s parents were there to watch us. I would go back to that time if I could.

I would go back to that one party we had because that time we were all really young and all we wanted to do was just have fun. We were curious about everything we saw. And I remember that we would walk all over just laughing together and looking at things. I would choose to go back to that time because that time there was no drama everything was just simple and we never had to think about anything like grades or school at the time. That was just one summer of our 5^th grade year. And it was one of the best summers I have ever had. I would really like to go back and just play around like I was a kid again.

I realized that everything was much better and simpler that time. We are all going to college soon and will be separated. Its true that you dont know what you until you loose it. I remember during that one summer we hiked up there. Forbidden is really scary and it is supposedly dangerous. We were young at the time, still kids. But of course we were crazy and ran everywhere we could. It was really fun because I remember there was a rope that you had to climb in order to get up the steps. And Christine was climbing it but she slipped and fell. She didn’t get hurt but it was really funny so we all just went back down to help her up and we just laughed.

We also climbed into this tiny hole. And inside the whole was this really really pretty cave. It was filled with ocean water that was flowing in from a tiny hole at the bottom of the cave. The cave was surrounded by a whole bunch of rocks but it was just really beautiful. I remember we climbed into that hole and in the cave. We stood on top of the cave rocks and looked down at the water. The cave was lit up because the sun was still up so the water was very clear and we could see every tiny little stone that was on the bottom. We all jumped together into the water and swam.

Our parents were back out on the beach cooking hamburgers and meat for us. After we all had dinner we built a camp fire. We just all sat there and talked about the boys we liked and the girls we were fighting with at the time. But of course there was not much serious problems like the ones that we have to deal with now.

Times like that, when mi just with my closest friends not thinking about anything and just having fun in the wild really make me want to go back in time and just stay there. I wouldnt want to change anything because back then everything was perfect in my eyes. I didnt need a lot to be happy. All I needed were my friends and some time out in the sun and I would be satisfied. The feeling of blissful nothingness is really something to enjoy while it lasts. If I could just go back in time for one day I would go back to that day in the summer and just enjoy it.

I would want to go back because first of all we are all leaving to college very soon and I would probably spend all my time working in school and I wouldn’t be able to see my childhood friends anymore. I just want to play with my friends and my family as much as I can before I fly off to another country. Spending quality time with the people you love is really important. And you really dont know what you have until you move away or dont have it anymore.

WHAT I WANNA CHANGE

When I wake up in the morning usually the first thing I see is my window and a tree outside my window. I see my computer desk and its usually very messy. So when I see the tree I sometimes want to cut it down. The tree outside my window is really old and its a coconut tree. My window has metal bars on it because when I was younger my brother would tend to sleep walk a lot. And one time he opened the window when he was sleeping and my parents freaked out. So since then my dad put metal bars on the window.

The window is just a normal window but because the bars are really old they started to rust. So it looks really scary and my window is black so its really boring. So when I wake up in the morning or just when I wake up every morning the first thing I see is always that one window. I look that way every morning because thats the window thats closest to my bed and my curtains sometimes aren’t closed so light shines in. when I see the window I always feel really bored and I wanna go back to sleep. Because its so dull and boring and plain. Also because in the morning the birds on that old tree out my window chirp and it is so annoying. I cant ever go to sleep because of the chirping. If it is a school day than its ok for the birds to wake me up but if it is a Saturday or a Sunday I get very mad and I sometimes shout at my window.

All I see every morning is a black rimmed window what metal rusted bars on it. With a really old and broken down tree outside of it. So I would really want to cut down that tree because of the birds and maybe plant a new tree. One that isnt so old and covered in moss and dirty. I would also love to be able to take down all the metal bars on my window so I dont feel like as if I am in prison all the time every morning when I wake up. I would want to paint my room pink and my window rimmed with glitter and sparkly things. That way when I wake up and see the light shine in everything will light up and be really nice.

After I change my window I will change my curtains from my normal plane red ones to a really nice and royal looking curtain. The ones with the bows and flowing sashes. I think those are really pretty and I feel like mi a princess. I think that would change my entire morning. Just seeing everything in a much nicer and less boring way. I wouldnt wanna go back to sleep so quickly I would actually try to get up from bed and now be late to school. I would also probably not be so cranky at school or when I am with my friends. Seeing something nice in the morning when you wake up is a big part of your entire days. Sometimes the first thing you see in the morning will determine your entire feelings throughout the day. But thats just my opinion because I always feel really tired in the morning and I feel bored the whole day at school.

Thats just one of the things I would change if I could but I cant because the tree first of all isnt part of my parents property so I cant just go around cutting down other peoples trees. Also I cant remove the bars from my window because my parents think thats to much trouble. And they think that its much safer to have bars on my window so other people cant get in. and I agree I think thats a valid reason to keep the bars on my window even though I feel like I am a criminal or something.

my childhood super hero

My childhood superhero would be the Totally Spies. Its a show about these 3 girls who are best friends. Clover, Sam, and Alex. I always liked Sam because she had long hair and she was always really smart. They were my childhood superhero I always thought about being like them cause I thought they were so cool.

The show was about those three girls being undercover spies. They have these really cool gadgets and stuff. They would have this really cool make up that turns into a gun or something. They would have all these really cool things that like are really fake though. But I always thought it was still cool. They were always really pretty and skinny and perfect. But they were also like really good at fighting bad guys and evil people. When I was younger I would always really want to learn how kill people or fight people. I dont know why I always wanted to learn stuff like that because mi a girl. But I think its because mi a girl and I always wanted to prove myself that I could be better and stronger than a guy.

Out of the three girls I liked Sam. But thats when I first started watching it. They always played that show on disney channel and I always watched it until like around midnight. I liked Sam because she was the smart one and guys liked her too but she also had long hair. I really liked long hair when I was younger but I could never have any because my mom or my family would always cut off all my hair until I had short hair and it really made me mad. But now I have long hair so I am happy. I liked Sam for a really long time. I think I only liked her because she had long hair and for some reason I think that guys like long hair on girls so I wanted to be Sam every time.

But then after a while of watching the show I started liking Clover. She had short hair well not really short kind of shoulder length like me. And she was a blonde. But thing was I really started to like her because always reminded me of myself. And people always told me that I was exactly like her. She was always the one running around with a bunch of guys. And she would always go on so many boys. All the boys liked her the most because she was the most girly and she always knew how to match her clothes. I really liked all of their clothes because it was always so nice. After I noticed how similar I was to Clover I started liking her.

When I was younger I would always try to learn how to fight people because I felt that one day I would have to fight a lot of people. But in the end I didnt need to learn how to fight because people looked at me and thought I was mean. My dad was a boxer thats the main reason I always wanted to be stronger than boys. I always wanted to prove to him that I could fight to. But then I grew up and I started noticing more on how to dress myself and put make up on. Thats why I like Clover because she always makes sure she looks good when she goes out and she always knows how to talk to boys to make them like her.

LYING

In my opinion I believe it is alright to tell a lie when it is needed. Sometimes lies are better than the truth because the truth hurts and people dont always deserve to feel the pain that the truth brings. People say its a sin to lie but I think I would rather hear a white lie than the actual truth that hurts. Because sometimes hearing lies is better than anything else. For example I think that lying is justified when trying to help someone.
If someone is feeling down or upset it dosent help to tell them that they are ugly or a looser even if it is the truth. Sometimes hearing little white lies is what help people get through in life. We may not know it but everyone lies once in a while. Its in our nature to lie because its human nature to care for others.
If telling a lie to someone can help them get pass some of the toughest situations that I believe that it is necessary to tell that lie. But depending on how big the lie is. I think it is alright to tell a lie that doesn’t hurt anyone else. Telling a little lie that wont upset anyone or get in any one else s way of living. Sometimes people get upset over lies but when you think about it. Would you rather have heard the terrible truth and feel even worse or have someone tell a lie and make things better?
Sometimes people consider not telling the truth lying. However for me I dont think thats the case because you dont technically always have to tell the truth but that dosent mean your lying. Lying in my opinion is if you make something up thats not true. But not telling the truth is just not informing the other person on whats actually happening. Theres a big difference in that.
It is not a good thing to constantly lie because that just makes you a fake. But if your a good person you will know when the right time to tell a lie is. Its not easy to tell a lie for some people because they are straight forward and insensitive. However if your a person that always tries to help out others and make others feel better you will find yourself lying. Whether its lying to yourself or lying to them. When people ask you “ are you ok?” sometimes even if your not feeling well you still push yourself to say “yes everything’s fine” that is considered a lie to some people. But I think lies like that aren’t bad because I see no reason for you to spill out the truth about all the horrible things that go on in your life to others. That will just end up exacerbating the situation.
Also I think lying is justified if for example a mother is trying to protect a child. In many cases parents have lied to their kids and when their children grow up to find out that everything was a lie they freak out. However if you think about it the parents are justified to have lied because they were only just trying to protect their kids. Kids are to young and immature to understand the love their parents have for them. Sometimes lying is needed for their own protection.
So I only think lying is justified if you are truly benefiting someone else. Lying to your loved ones is always alright if you are just trying to protect them. Lying to strangers and friends if alright if your trying to keep them happy. And lying to yourself is alright when you need the self esteem to keep on moving forward. Lying to hurt others or deceive people for who you really are is not alright and should always be avoided because lying tends to stick on as a bad habit.

MY DAY

I will write about my day. This morning I woke up and I was on my skype because I forgot to turn it off the night before. Well so I woke up and I Skyped with my friend for a while. Than after staying in bed for about another like 15 minutes I went to the bathroom. I first tied up my hair and I a brushed my teeth for like 3 minutes. Than I washed my face with his new facial cleanser that I just bought from DFS. Its really good and it feels kinda minty so I really like it.

After I got out of the bathroom I went to my desk and I dumped out all my make up on my desk and I stood there thinking about what type of make up style I want to do for today. Since today was a Friday I felt like dressing up nice and I like to match my make up with my clothes. But I was kind of late for school so I just put a very casual type of make up on.

I took about like 10 minutes to pick out an outfit. I decided to wear a pink sweater shirt with a mini skirt and light colored high heeled wedges. And I thought I looked pretty OK. It was very casual cute.

Then I went downstairs to eat some breakfast. Lately my breakfast has just been cereal. I've eaten cereal for breakfast for about like 3 months straight. But I have different types of cereal so its not to bad. Then I went to school.

Ok well that was my morning and that isn’t nearly 500 words so ill continue talking about the rest of my school day. I had English for my first class. The book my class is reading right now is called Kite Runner and its actually a really good book. Its one of the books that our class enjoys reading together. Its about a young boy and his best friend gets raped but he doesn’t do anything about it because he was a coward. But he ends up redeeming himself by going back to his home country and saving the child of his best friend after he died. Its a really good book and I really like reading it.

After English class I went to my history class and it was really fun to. My teacher is really funny and I totally love the way he teaches. Its really easy to talk to him and I understand his class.

Today was a pretty good day. Nothing made me mad or upset so it was nice. Today is Friday so I will probably go swimming with my mom. I like hanging out with my mom lately because my dad isn’t here anymore because he has to work on our garment factory in Vietnam and my brother is in San Francisco in college. So me and my mom just hang out and talk.

my hobby

My favorite hobby would be writing journals. I like writing because I can express myself in my own way. Some people like to do things like watch movies or read books. I don’t really like to read books because I feel like I am not doing something of my own. Its a weird feeling. Sometimes I like reading but only a certain few books. I like writing because I think I am pretty good at it or at least mi good enough to write somethings that makes sense.

I don’t like to write essays or research papers I like to write in my dairy or just a daily journal. That’s why I really like journalism class because this whole class period is just about writing what I like and what I feel. When we write or type the stream of consciousness I feel so free and I really just type everything that comes to my mind. And sometimes a lot of the things that comes to my mind dont really make sense but I just write or type it down anyway because I think its really interesting and funny to read it when I am older.

I like writing about my feelings because not a lot of people get to read what I feel like. And sometimes when you just write everything that you feel and think down on a piece of paper or a journal you will feel really good. I love the feeling that you get when you finally feel like your not hiding anything. There might be like a secret that you cant tell anyone but you write it down somewhere. I use to go to the beach and just take a random piece of paper and write something that someone else told me not to tell. And I would write it down and fold it up and I would dig a hole or something and bury it. I thought it was really fun and it was a really weird hobby but I thought it was OK.

I dont often so that anymore because its considered littering so usually I just write in my own personal journal and I dont show anybody. I hide it from my family because there are certain things that I dont want them to know of course. Of course every teenager has their own secrets. Its just part of life. But being able to write and type down everything you feel Is just a really good feeling and I like that feeling. Every time I writing something down I feel like I got it off my chest and I can just move on in life. The feeling of carrying something so heavy like a huge secret is a really big burden and I hate it. I just always want to get rid of things like that. And writing it all down is a really good way of just expressing my feelings and getting rid of a big burden. Everyone should be able to express themselves in their own way. My way of expressing my feelings is through words.

if i could choose my death scene

If I could choose my death scene I would be sure to make it perfect. First of all I would not want to die due to some kind of sickness because that would be to painful and I dont want to be in pain when I die. I want to die happy and have no regrets in life. I would also want to die knowing that when I was gone the people that I love like my family and friends would be happy and live a good life. I mean I dont want them to be happy because I died. I would want them to just live a good life and move on within time. However I would still of course want the people around me to be sad. That way ill know that they didnt hate me or think I was a bad person.

I dont want to die to young but then again I really would not want to die young either because than I would have wasted my youth. I dont want to be the type of person that feels like I have wasted my life when I die. I think that would be one of the worst feelings in the world.

I want to die in my house or in my husbands house. I would of course want to be married by then but I wouldn’t want my husbands life to stop just because I died. I dont want to have kids if mi dying early because then my kids would be left without there mother. I would not want them to have to be taken care of by a step mother. Even if the step mother will love them with all she has it is still just not the same as a actual mother loving her children. There will always be a difference.

When I die I want to be laying on my bed very comfortably and I would want to be laughing when I die. I want to die with a smile on my face not tears. I would hope to have seen my entire family that day and all my friends. Then I would just go in my room lay down on my bed and fall asleep. I think dying in your sleep is one of the best deaths because you feel no pain. I want everything around me to be peaceful and I want to die with no one around me so I wouldn’t feel weird. I dont want to be very old and I dont want to be young, maybe just when I am between the ages 50 to 60. that will be ok. I would just lay in my bed and I want to have a dream. A nice dream for the last few seconds I am alive would be perfect. Everything will seem normal and in place. I just want to pass away not feeling any sadness, madness, or guilt. Those are some of the worst feelings to feel when your alive. So I would not want those to be my emotions before I die. I want to feel loved and happy with my life.

So I would of course just want to die peaceful alone in my bed.

if i had one day to live

If I only have one day to live I would go all out. First of all I am the type of person that would really regret my life if I wasted it doing something boring or lame. If I knew that I only had one day to live I wouldnt waste it doing something that bores me. I would do something that I would be able to die happily and smiling. I dont want to die with regret in me.

If I had one day to live the first thing I would do is probably something fun but really crazy. I would try to fit everything on my bucket list into one day. I really want to go jet ski racing with my friends, bungy jump off a bridge, rock climb a huge mountain, and travel somewhere iv never been to. Those are just some of the really interesting things that I would want to do before I die. If I had one day to live I dont think I could really do all of that because that stuff takes time. And if I just woke up one morning and someone told me that I was going to die in the next 24 hours the first thing I would do is have a huge party. I would invite everyone of my friends over. And we would party like theres no tomorrow, partly because there wont be, at least for me.

After partying with a whole bunch of people I will start my adventure. I will first go sky diving because iv always wanted to do that. I wouldnt do all these things alone though I would take my best friends and we would do everything together. I probably wont tell my friends that I am about to die because than everyone wouldnt be as happy and everyone wouldnt have as much fun. But then again my friends aren’t realy normal so I think I could tell them and they would just be shocked but still make this the best day of my life.

After sky diving I would really want to go jet skiing. I think it would be best if we parashooted into the ocean and the jet skis would just be there waiting for us than we would race each other across the ocean. After having one crazy day with my best friends I would say good bye. But first before that I think we would play one game of confession for the last time. Thats when we tell every single one of our secrets. That way ill die knowing everything.

I would than spend the last few hours of my life with my family. I wouldnt want to tell them that I am dying because family will get emotional and I dont want my last few hours filled with tears and sober. So we would just get together have a great dinner. We would just talk and laugh and play really dumb games. That would just be good enogh for me. Thats probably how I would spend the last few hours of my life.

Scenery

This is beautiful of picture of winter snow. Its sometime in the middle of the winter when its not to cold but you can also tell its not hot, of course with the snow still on the floor. The paved walk way has already frozen and is covered with snow. You can tell that there has been someone that has been taking care of the scenery in this picture because the walk way has been cleaned off.

This pictures isn’t really perfect but its beautiful because its natural. The frozen paved walk way with covered in snow has been brushed. You can tell that the walk had been cleaned and brushed off because the snow looks like its all the same amount, and not all chunky. The sides of the walk way are piled with bundles of snow. The walk way can probably be big enough for a car to in and out. There are trees lined up around the path. The tree trunks of the trees are brown and white because of the winter temperature. These are the type of trees that still bloom during the winter. However the leaves are not green. The branches of the trees are dangling downwards and the wind is blowing on the branches so its sways through the air. The leaves are not green but sparkling white. It looks like frozen branches and leaves look like snow.

The time of the day is around sunset. The suns orange rays are glistening along a few of the trees. It casts a shadow along the walk way. There are many trees some are white with a blue tint and some are white but has a touch of orange on it. Because the sunset is only shining on a few trees. Thus the picture consists of two different main colors. The trees that the sun isn't shining on looks peaceful and a little dull. However the certain trees that are shined on by the sun gives out a much more happy and fun feeling. The leaves look more puffy and soft and the branches are more defined by the light.

All the trees have a different size trunk. Some are especially skinny while some are just the right size. They are not alined with perfect spacing between them but it is all along both sides of the walk way.

This scene gives out a very peaceful yet happy feeling. Its the type of picture that you can imagine walking in and just standing there admiring the scene. The picture has no animals nor people in it which makes it look very silent and dull. But the sunlight in the picture lights it up. The sun sets orange colors gives the winter night a bit more color. You can see little bits of the sky through the branches and leaves of the tree. The night is not yet dark but a dim blue. The sky is dim blue only one side of the picture though because the other side is shined on with the orange sunset.

The snow has already all settled on the floor and its a beautiful scene.

embarrassing things

My most embarrassing moment in my life would be when I was really young and I was walking around the taste of marinas with my friends and one of my friends just happened to spill a cup of slushy all over me.

It was about like 3 or 4 years ago. I was really young and me and my friends were just hanging out at the Taste of Marianas. We like to go to those events because theres a lot of cheap food and plus we always get to see our friends from another school. Anyway I like going threre. So I was there and it was really dark. We dont like to eat there because its really loud and theres a lot of annoying people that I hate. People tend to piss me off. So me and my friends like to go to some place quiet and laugh by ourselves. Its more fun that way and I don’t get pissed off. This time I was pissed off though because mi the type of girl that likes to get ready and dress up nice when I go out.

That’s why this was so embarrassing for me. We all went to get a slushy when we were there because it was so damn hot. So we all went to get a cup of slushy. It was really good and we were walking and laughing about something. It was really fun at the time. So like we were walking and laughing about something. Suddenly my friend celine tripped. And we were laughing really hard and she was laughing to. But we were laughing so hard that she tripped again but that this time she triped on this huge root and got her shoe stuck.

When she tripped she spilled her slushy all over me. The worst part was that the fact that I was wearing white shorts. So I had this huge red stain on my white shorts. I was so embarrassed because I couldn’t go home right away. I had to stay there and walk around meeting up with my old friends. It was really gross because I had slushy in my hair too. And my hair was really really sticky but I couldnt do anything about it. I didnt do anything about it because I couldn’t. I just had to keep waiting for my parents to pick me up. But they were so slow it pissed me off. So I got home and I just washed my hair about 3 times and I threw away my white shorts cause they were completely stains so I didnt want to bother trying to wash them out. Even though I really liked those shorts.

After that I didnt really like going to those types of events anymore. It kind of made me feel like those places arent really for hanging out just getting food and leaving. So now I dont really go to those places anymore. Unless I'm with my friends just to get food really quickly. Than we all just leave.

3000 stream of conciousness

So like wer going to do this 3000 words again. But I guess its ok cause I have nothing better else to do like I like tumblr but not always and facebook is starting to bore me. Im just looking at my nails right now and their like turquoise ish color blue ish green and its very pretty I got the nail polish from celine or was it christine im no treally sure but I painted it during my history class today. We were suppose to be doing our research papers or something but then it was like really boring and I lost my notes and I was really pissed off but then I couldn’t do anything about it so I just sat there like painting my nails. I really like typing but the thing Is I type so fast and like non stop so it really makes my hands hurt. And sometimes I really just dont even make sense while im typing. Typing is like working out for my hands and its really weird and after you stop typing your hands are kind of numb. Ii only got so fast in typing because when I was young my sister or cousin or something whatever but shes a girl and she made me an msn messenger and I was on it like so often I was just always chatting with people that I like i got so good at typing but you can totally tell that my grammar and spelling suck because well obviously im spelling like everything wrong right now. Im watching raffy walk towards me and now hes singing candy shop and hes wearing black and white with black and white shoes. White shirt black basketball shorts. Not bad I really like guy when they wear simple things. Oh my god I love it when I guys like white beaters or just a white t-shirt and jeans man I think that is like really really hot. Well of course the man has to be hot himself but you know what I mean. I real,y dont like school lately like idk im just so stressed about everything I dont really know what do like in my pre cal class im failing and I hating but im bad at math and stuff so I dont really mind failing. But anyway like I dont really know what to talk about so im just going to tell you about my day. So last night holy crap I just remembered I can write about my really weird dream. Theres this thing like when you think your sleeping but your not really sleeping and like you think your awake but you cant even wake up. A lot of people think that its a ghost or something on top of you like not letting you wake up but then I dont really know what it is iv only had that twice like in my whole life and it really is scary like I was like HOLY CRAP what is going on. So the story is like I was just laying on my bed and fell asleep and at the same time I left my computer on so my Skype was on and I was skyping with this guy at the time but anyway yea I fell asleep with hat on so he was just like there. And he didn’t hang up either. But anyway onwards with my story. Like I was sleeping and like suddenly I felt like I was awake but I really couldn’t move and I had no idea what was going on. Then I just felt like I wanted to scream. I was trying to say the guys name because I didn’t know what else to say and I kept saying it in my mind but no words were coming out it was just really weird and scary and I couldn’t say anything or move but my mind was wide awake. I could see myself lying there on my bed and I can see everything around me like my room and my stuff. But then I screamed really loud and I woke up screaming. The guy freaked out cause he heard me and he was like what the hell what are you doing its like 3 am. Well yea I sleep really late. And anyway like last night that happened again. It was really the same thing though it was a little bit different I was laying in my bed and of course once again my Skype was on. Well anyway I had a dream about that. Like I had a dream about laying in bed sleeping and dreaming and in my dream I was dreaming but I couldn’t wake up. OK I sound totally dumb because its hard to explain what I was seeing in my mind. But I just couldn’t wake up and oh yea the scary part was like cause I have these chairs. Like I have 3 chairs in my room and two of them have wheels so you can role around. For some reason I thought I heard noises. Or I know I heard noises at least in my dreams I did. The noise was like someone sitting on my chair and rolling towards me. That’s why I was trying to scream but I couldn’t make any sounds. It was just really weird and I hate that feeling But yea I don’t really know what it is. Its just really scary. A lot of people like Asians say that its a ghost or a spirit on top of you not letting you wake up or like taking over your body or something. Im not really a person who believes that kind of stuff but who knows. There’s a lot of things that people cant explain in this world. I was just telling this story because I thought it was kind of interesting. Its much more interesting if I tell you in person or whoever is reading this 3000 word blog. But im sure not many people will read this unless your a teacher or like someone that’s just likes to read other peoples thoughts. Sometimes my thoughts are really dumb they have like just random things going through it and most of the time it doesn’t even make sense like sometimes I say things without thinking. And like when people do that other people get hurt cause sometimes those things are exactly nice. Right now im like completely zoning out. Im staring at my purse its black and grey. I bought it in Taiwan. Actually my mom got it and I just took it from her. She has her own Celine bag so she doesn’t need it. And anyway like I like this typing thing. Well I dont like it like like it like it. I only like it like as if its fun its actually like really relaxing to just type out everything your feeling. Holy crap like last night when I had that nightmare of how I couldn’t wake up. But when I finally did wake up I felt like screaming my head off. I think it was because I couldn’t scream in my dream and I when I did wake up I wanted to let it all out. But obviously I didn’t because my mom is like right upstairs and if I scream shes probably going to come down with like gun and be like what the hell are you doing go to sleep. It was really late. I think that thing always happens to me because I don’t get enough sleep. Omg Its Friday and I totally love Fridays because I always go to abbys house or like christines house and we just chill. Today we are all going to christines new restraunt cafe thing for dinner. Its really good I love it there. And her house is so pretty. Which reminds me. I have these people staying over at my house. They’ve been there for a long time well not as long as me of course maybe like 2 years now. And anyway they painted the house next to mine BLUE. Like really blue.. I was like omg it looks like a really old and like cheap looking house. I mean it already didnt look old but now it just looks cheap. I told my mom they should have painted it like white because white iis always pretty. I dont really have certain color that I like but I think white is the best. I love white. First of all because it makes you look clean and nice. White matches like just about everything. I love getting french tips and stuff because its so cute. Like it so simple. I love getting manicures but I hate paying for them like its so useless. Cause I can do my nails like better than other people. Maybe not like completely professional and stuff but than like its pretty good. I like it. Omg im still looking at my ring and its totally cute. HOLYYYYY like today my friend evert came over to visit our school and he just told me that this guy that use to like me and the one who gave me this ring. Or the other tiffany ring on my finger is in Saipan. I was like are you freaking kidding me. He told everyone that he left. Whatever though. Anyway like my neck is kind of hurting right now. Maybe cause im sitting like weirdly sideways. Hahah so right now the people waering white is the new guy joon the two new girls christine abby and celine. Pretty cute. I think whites just such a cute color. My mom paint my room green one time it was really weird. It was like a light baby green hahahha I dont know I thought it wasnt like ugly but it wasn’t like cute. Or sort of cute if you like green. I wonder how many words I have already. I dont thinking up to 3000 yet so im just goinng to keep typing. Man like my thumb hurts from hitting the space bar so much. I think I need to slow down. But I really dont want to because I just want to finish this. If I dont finish my stuff at school or just like my blogs I know I wont do it at home. I cant concentrate for some reason. Hahaha well yea thats that I guess. I think my eyes are getting worse everyday because I cant see anything. I mean I can see the screen but its not even that clear. Wow I really have really bad eyes. My eyes got worse from 2 years ago. This summer I was in china and my glasses dropped on the floor and like I didn’t have time to pick it up because I was doing something with my face I dont remember what. Probably like putting on make up or a toner or something. But short story long samson came in and stepped on them. And it like cracked in half. But it didnt break it was just like slanted when I put it on my face. I tried to like wear it cause I wanted to watch this movie. It was a chinese drama love story. It was so cute I loved it. But I got so dizzy because I was trying to see through slanted glasses. I looked so dumb. I really dont like wearing glasses. My mom says that I look really ugly with them. I only waer them in class when I need to concentrate and stuff. Of course when I went to taiwan this summer I got new ones. Their black and very plain but thats good I dont want like something super bright on my face. Black and white are nice but I dont wear white glasses. White glasses should be for joon. I think he looks really good in white glasses. Thats like his thing right there hahha pretty nice. I think he got really tall like all the guys in my class use to be shorter than me or like about the same size but now everyone’s like a head taller than me and I always wear heels which is so dumb. I bought so many heels that now when I want to wear flats I notice I dont even have one pair. Its so sad to not have what you want. I should check how many words I have right now. Omg I dont want to look at the screen so im looking at the chair next to me. I really LIKE THE SMELL OF MY HAIR BECAUSE IM STILL using THAT NEW SHAMPOO I GOT. Ok see this is why we need to look at the screen when we type and not other things cause now half of my sentence was like on caps. But caps kind of helps me see more clearly. The times new roman font is so small and like squished together. O wait o yea I forgot to check how many words I have alrighty ok I will do that right now. Im not even checking it cause im to lazy to open google. Ok im going to check it now! I only have 2000 some right now I thinki need to right a page more. I wonder what other people write about. I always type about like my life and stories that dont really make sence. But I guess its better than just typing like. Red blue green yellow. Wow that actually takes up a lot of words. Ok so im going to play a game with myself. Ill just look around the class room and see what I see and whatever comes to my mind I will type it down. I feel like this is going to be so dumb but whatever. Ok so right now amy is looking at me. Wait thats not part of the game. Ok starting now. Black white wheels the door is green that monkey is looking at me I feel like that thingy on the wall is about to fall off and thats dangerous. I see amy xie looking around the classroom maybe shes going to do the same thing as me. Now im looking at jeng I like his shoes seri and ashley have really cute computers cause their pink and everyone else has black on. There’s this projector on the table. I see trees with frogs and birds. I want to own a unicorn and have really long hair. I like the number 5 well not really I just said but but I like short shorts and tank tops. I like side slanted shirt and I love the ones that you tie up and go to the beach. I really would like to get a belly ring but my mom dosent want me to. Joon changed his glasses to black and my teacher is waering a polo shirt. Abby is waering a white tank top that belongs to christine. Christines waering a black tank top that we baught toogether with a white jacket over amy is all blue and celine is pink and white. I am waering a side slanter blue but kind of green shirt with short hosrts black belt and black shoes. Their wedges of ourse. I see a light switch and there are one two three four five six seven ok there are a lot of lights in the class room. I see a bottle with the tag high school on it. Ok thats about it. And my butt is starting to cramp. I really want to go somehwere and buy a hula hoop so I can hula hoop all night and hopefully have slim waist or a slimmer wiast and I want to go jogging but I know I cant do that because saipan Is just way to hot to go out and run around in the sun. thats only ok when im with friends at a beach or something ok right now im just going to change positions and put my head down because im like really tired an my back I hurting wow I should just type like this because im like closing my eyes right now and just typing and it reallys really good my head is like laying on my arm and everything is dark. I think im like a bat or something because I really like to stay in the dark. Its just better than being in the sun. OK now I just woke up again and everyone’s like laughing at Jinnah I think hes really funny when I fist met him I couldn’t pronounce his name so I called him Paul and now a lot of people call him Paul Holy crap my hair is like in my so I just put my head down again I really just wanna like fall asleep right now cause my legs hurt and I slept really late last night because of that stupid dream or like nightmare or whatever it was. In staring at my shorts and the pockets like come out cause their so short they have like splashed paint on them I really like it. I bought it with my mom when I was in china. In to lazy to check how many words I have so im just going to keep typing tell I see the end of the page near this word doc. Ok so like I dont like soccer or basketball but I do like to watch people play those two balls. I think its fun and like exciting well they have to be goo and it has to be like a really intense game for me to be in it. Right now I think im fat. Now like I want to eat healthy. But I just bought a whole bunch of new snacks and junk at my house I guess I will just finish all that stuff first because it would be such a waste to just throw it away. O my god im going to have to go back and like correct all the mistakes I did that is going to be so annoying but whatever I just want to finish this already.

streak of conciousness

Right now there’s like no power and its really hot cause Im wearing this shirt I just bought like two days ago at I love saipan. Its like a big pink sweater and its really cute. It says LOVER in the front and I was with my mom and she thought it was cute so we bought it together. I’m not suppose to be buying much things I’m suppose to like save money. But I still went shopping which is kind of dumb. I went to payless like last night to find some shoes. I hate buying shoes on saipan because theres like not much choices to pick from. I really like wedges and strappy shoes cause I think their really cute. Platform wedges are totally cute but thing is I went shoping like crazy in Taiwan this summer and I went all out on shoes. But thing I just baught heels and heels only. I baught around like 6 pains of heels and no flats. Right now I totally wanna wear flat cause I think their cute too but I dont have any which is like so sad. Oh my god. Like yesterday at school my stomach suddenly started hurting and it like pissed me off cause it hasnt hurt like that like ever but anyway thing is I was hurting like crazy so I went home n slept. Then it like got better but then later on it got worse agin I was like wtf and my mom wanted to take me to the hospital but I didnt want to go because well obviously the saipan hostpital sucks they dont do crap and just make you wait. I rather die at the house than in the waitng room. Least my beds comfy. Omg which reminds me my room is so messy. My moms always cranking at me to clean my room and I do. But like after I clean my room I need to pick out my clothes for the next day. I love matching my clothes for school. Or for like anything you. I hate people who totally dont match their clothes. Omg theres like some girls out there that are just so ugly and they dont match their clothes which is like so ugly. And amy is like scratching her arm right now which kinda grossed me out because she told us one time she didnt shower her head we were like wtf thats so nasty. Sometime you can like do that if you stay home all day and stay in bed. Omg amy SHUT UP. Ashleys so cute when she laughs. But any way omg sometimes I just hate what amy waers but she has such cute clothes she just matches them really weirdly. Hahaha like one time I was infront of mirror like matching my clothes for the next day or something. And my mom comes in and shes like wth I thought you were doing homework and I was nahh I do that later. And shes like why cant you do homework instead of matching your clothes. Omg like my room was so messy. Idk why but mostly after I pick out a outfit my room is like completely trashed. Haha I rember that time me christine and celine webt to abbys house we its like a tornado hit her room. We tried onn all her clothes. I just realized I sound like totally stupid right now but its ok. I like this blog I think its fun even tho it shows all I think about are like clothes. O I like hot guys to I wish saipan had hotter guys or MORE guys. There are so much more pretty girls than hot guys. Which is so not fair. I think our class girls are all pretty cute and pretty. Or most of us anyway. Lately I love curly hair. I like sat in my room thinking how to curl my hair so I would look cuter. My hairs like really soft. Omg like I baught this new shampoo from Dove and it smells so nice. I also got the Dove conditioner and body wash to. I think im like a totally freak when it comes to things that go together you know. Like I like everything that matches and from the same brand you know that kinda stuff. But yea im like looking at the rings on my finger. One of thems like this really cute big ring and its like shaped like a rose and the others this tiffany ring that this guy bought. Omg I wish I was nicer to him though cause I mean like he was nice and baught me a whole lota expensive things but yea I wish I was nicer to him. I think I would have gotten like even more presents hahaha just kidding I dont wanna be that mean. I can buy my own stuff. But yea anyway this sweater thing that I bought yesterday I making me really hot right now cause frekin saipan has no power all the time I Ilived in like the states or something but everyone thinks im going to like go crazy partying and all that crap. Which idk probably I will hahah saipans like so boring but I still find things to do which is good. People that just like stay home all day and all weekend with no social lives I dont even know how their alive. ESXPECIIALLY THE GIRLS omg like I think girls should always be out with like other girls shopping or something gossip about other stuff. Omg and like girls that are in high school some of them never even got to first base with a guy I have no idea how their alive. But yea. Anyway I just noticed amy's shoes are like totally generice looking boots off of Tumblr. Tumblr is actually really fun I like to look at all the cute stuff and see what I have in my closet. Hahah which reminds me like I was in china and taiwan during summer and my brother was with me to but he had this like HUGE suitcase well I mean it wasnt THAT big but it was pretty big it had like all his clothes and like his whole room in there cause you know hes like going to college and crap. But anyway I had this like tiny suitcase that was really cute it was LV but anyway like holy cow I baught so many things I actually had to buy a whole new suitcase the same size as my brothers. It was so funny cause we had like the same size suitcase filled but mine was just clothes from summer and his is like his whole life in saipan. Hahaha anyway holy crap its so hot right now my make up better not be smeared I hate smeared make you cause you look like a hobo. Like omg go wash your face jeez. But yea I feel like getting a manicure ahh I really want a massage right now. I got this super relaxing whole body oil massage in taiwan it was SO nice. And my nails are like plain right now. Omg amy is calling for soo ho jeez do your work this is like so easy. I like typing cause usualy I like to look at my hands on the key board. Now im looking at my legs. Im getting like skinnier which isnt a bad thing its pretty good I guess but im like already skinny so I kinda wanna get fatter. I baught all this junk food. Well I always do that but I cant even eat it cause my mom thinks my stomatchs like retarted and I need to take a break from all the crap I eat which I agree so im not eating it for now. So like I like to look at my hands when I type cause I think my rings are really pretty and plus my bracelets are cute. But right now I really just want to take off my shirt or my sweater thing like its really cute and all and the color matches my tan. But I cant take it off cause im like at school and theres like teachers and other people and im waering like a white tank top under and its like completely see through. So I think I should just keep it on. Omg like am I done im guna like check this crap. So im like about to do the word check thing but than internet is like so slow. Haha omg I think the two words I say the most are omg and like. Idk why I say like so much but its so hard not to . I think I wanna dress like cute pe girl tomorrow. Pe outfits can be tottaly cute sometimes. O wow mr lee is taking a picture of us cause for once wer all doing our work. I should pose! Hahaha just kidding. But I like pictures omg not really sometimes tho cause I look like crap in pictures. I rather just meet up in person (; this better be like 2000 ish words already. Wow I spell like everything wrong. I think I should like yea anyway whatever. Omg I just checked how manywords I just typed and its so little why am I typing so slow today its only like not even 2000 well whatever so I should just think about like what to think about. Well ok first of all I frekin hate math and I suck at it. Which is stupid cause im Chinese and I should be like good in math. Girls are so judgemental like yesterday when we eat lunch or like everyday when we eat we sort of just sit there looking at some of the people that pass by and we just ook at like what they like wear and stuff and omg some people really massive repeat their outfits. I dont know but I really hate wearing my clothes over and over again I think its so ugly. I think for like girls like me clothes and like outer apearance is really important. Like all that crap about inner beauty is so gay because its not true. Not like people gonna wanna get to know you if your ugly on the outside. You don’t even have to be super pretty just be decent and wear some nice clothes that people will like notice you and you wont feel like your crap. Shh mi looking at someone right now and its so not OK like what mi thinking. So mi like thinking my grade sucks. Oh wow I wanna go shopping right now. Omg I was so pissed last night or not really pissed but idk OK I need to stop writing Idk and start typing I don’t know cause thats like a extra three words and plus I say I dont know a lot so I should just type that. In looking at numbers right now 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 0 oh my frekin god I hate math so much. I think its so ugly. Ahhh amys outfit makes me mad her shoes are like muddy. I really like my shoes right now cause I think their really cute its kind of like a light color but not really well actually yea it is. Its like light color and its strappy and their like platform wedges haha I bought it last year its adorable. Hahah I just noticed that I have these like really dumb writings on my hand. I usually dont like to write crap all over my hands but I just wrote words and I think they look really cute even though their like cuss words. I think we cuss to much. Like the girls I hang out with and stuff. But whatever its OK I think mi going to like go home and sleep forever. Ah my mom like always makes me write Chinese and its so annoying well I guess mi learned but whatever. Wow I think I sound so dumb right now. Talking about what I hate omg mi going to have to go back and like correct all those stupid mistakes. So mi thinking about how hot it is and I would rather be in a bikini laying on a chair next to a pool in a 5 star hotel drinking a cold drink with some friends and watching a hot life guard do his job. But of course we can all get what we want. That would be so perfect though hah aha OK mi totally dreaming to much I should get back to like my thoughts. My thoughts are always about cute clothes hot guys funny and kind of mean jokes. Its so true like holy crap the mean jokes are the funniest. I dont know how people or myself come up with jokes that are just so mean about other people. But I just think their so funny. Like I was talking to celine and she was telling me or like all of us when I say all of us thats like me abby christine and celine. So anyway celine was like telling me that all the little kids are like scared of us or something. Ew amy just announced she finished her words that is sucha lie I bet she just copied and pasted stuff. Whatever sucha fake. We always try to be nice to her but it just never works. And she just sometimes like annoys us but we try to tolerate it and crap you know. OK so mi thinking about dogs cats food candy and if my laptop runs out of battery right now mi going to have a BF omg shes gonna have a BF wait no whats a bf **** mi guns write a letter . Dear Mr hotel name. I am SO frekin pissed. AMY SHUT UP . She just talked to me about something dumb. Anyway. Hahah well you were thinking it well you said it omg your so baddd hahah I love that stuff its so funny. Dude powder me. Hello give me a pat. Hey so like you haven’t called lately. Do you wanna come over later? Ew why are you talking to her. Wipe it off coke face. Ahhhh im am so embarrassed. Im lactoseinterlorant or however you spell that. Is there cheese in this? Dude that is cheese. Omg her look at her butt it is so big. She looks like one of those rap guys girlfriends I mean ew just look at it. That song is so funny. Omg am I done with this already I wanna be DONE ah mi guna embarsed. check again again omg I always spell again wrong and it pisses me off why dosent this word thing just get me so I continue typing and itll just like understand what mi trying to type and just fix it without me having to like frekin right click and pick out the obviously right word. I cant help it if I type messy. Whatever though at least I type faster than most people. Omg I thought I just I like cut everything off and everyone was like quiet and I was like so loud mi like O MY GOD I was so pissed but anyway yea so this is dumb what was I going to do just now o yea I wanted to check if mi done with this blog thing.

the most influential person in my life

The most influential person in my life would be Natalie Portman. Natalie Portman is an actress born in Jerusalem. Her father is a doctor and her mother is an artist. She is on e of the best actors in my opinion. There are many things that make her a good actor such as her ability to play different roles. Not only is she one of the most beautiful women in Hollywood, she is also very intellectually gifted. She is known world wide and many people love her. She has her fans but of course like everyone else she has her critics. People will have different opinions about her but in my opinion she is one of the people that have a great influential power on me.

Natalie Portman went to college at Harvard University and graduated with a B.A degree in 2003. However Natalie Portman did have certain health issues. Natalie became the first Harvard College graduate that earned a Academy Award for best actress.

In my opinion I belive that Natalie Portman is a good actress because she can play all different types of roles and characters. For example in the new movie “Black Swan” Natalie Portman is the main character along with Mila Kunez. Natalie Portman played a contradicting role. She played the Black Swan and the White Swan. The black swan was a type of evil spirit that inhabited her body and whenever her body was taken over by that spirit she would not be able to control herself and her actions. She then also played the role of a White swan, a beautiful creature. Being bale to play two different types of people is a very hard thing to do. I think Natalie Portman did a terrific job in playing these two roles. Not only did she show her beautiful and evil side, but she also revealed a very sexy and seductive character. Some people are known as beautiful and some people are known as cute. But its hard to be able to be everything. Being able to be beautiful and sexy at the same time isn’t easy, but Natalie Portman pulled it off.

Many people in the world are beautiful in different ways. However it is hard to be perfect. In my opinion I would say that girls such as Natalie Portman come very close to being perfect. I don’t know her on a personal level of course so I don’t know how her personality is. However I wouldn’t say she was a terrible person. But being intellectually curious and also gorgeous on the outside are two very important things. Some people would say that looks don’t matter and its all about who you are and what you do. However that isn’t always true. The truth hurts and the truth is people always look at you and judge you from your outer appearance. We are all humans and whether we like it or not we all have our own opinion. That’s what differentiates us from one another.

Natalie Portman also does a lot of photo shoots and modeling. Models are knows to have perfect facial structures and a magnificent tall skinny body. But that is one of the reasons why I admire Natalie Portman. Yes she does have a beautiful face but she is very short. She is skinny and small, but her body is still nice. I like how she is still confident in who she is and isn’t intimidated by others who are taller or have a better body than her. I think self confidence and courage can completely reconstruct a person. Always feeling like your less than everyone else will eventually lead you into being someone you really don’t like. But being confident in what your doing and living up to the consequences will eventually lead you into being someone who is brave and not afraid of showing who you are to others.

I feel like I can see the confidence and intimidation that radiates off of her and I want to learn from her. I feel that she has a lot of influence on many young girls around the world, including me. She has done so much with herself and she has shown that women can be just as successful as man. She has proven herself academically and physically strong and stern.

the types of people i love

There are different types of people who surround me everyday. There are people who tend to get on my nerves but there are also people that I learn to love when I get to know them. There are people in this world that no matter what they do they will have the attraction towards other people. I love the type of person who is straight up honest, I enjoy being with people who are care-free at certain times and knows how to party, and lastly I love to be with people who understand me.

Being honest is a very important trait in life. If you are a liar people will eventually begin to think you are a terrible person and not want to be around you. Sometime the truth hurts and often people lie to protect others. However I like the type of person who isn’t scared to express the emotions and thoughts they are having. If someone tells you what they think your flaws are you have the chance to change them and make better of yourself. But if people tend to lie and say good things to you when their actually just laughing about it behind your back, you will have no chance to learn whats right from wrong. People that tell sarcastic jokes tend to get on my nerves, doing it once in a while is one thing but doing the same thing everyday will make me walk away. I hate people who lie about their lives and themselves. Why would someone be ashamed of themselves. Expressing yourself is one of the most important things in my opinion. There is no need to lie about yourself, to me, if your don’t like who I am than I don’t need you in my life. I love people who are honest and courage because that the type of person that will end up being your true friend in life. They will tell you the truth even though it hurts, but they will also help you get pass all the hardship in your life.

I especially love people who know when to just relax and have fun but can also be serious when it is necessary. People who are always uptight and stubborn about things annoy me. Being young and having fun is what life is about. Why not live life to its fullest extent? People who always stay at home and are antisocial will never understand how fun and exciting life will be. I feel sorry for those who do not take the opportunity to make friends and have fun. Having fun is essential in every teenagers or child’s life. Being care-free doesn’t mean you don’t think about other things except partying. To me care-free is being able to do what you want when you want. Living a liberal and exciting life is good for everyone. Of course boundaries must be set up, but sometime rules are just made to be broken. Constantly doing everything everyone tells you to do will transform you into being dependent on others. If you learn to make your own choices and follow what your heart tells you to do, you will learn how fun life is and you will also learn to be independent.

Everybody has a best friend, whether if it was during your child hood or your teenage years. I love to express what I feel and my thoughts and I party excessively, but I love the feeling of being with someone alone who understands me. That person doesn’t have to be your best friend it could be your boyfriend, husband, wife, family member, sometime even a random stranger. But being with someone who truly understand how you feel will calm you and you will know what to do with yourself if you are having conflicts in your life. I love the people who take the time to listen to everyone else s stories and give their opinions on how to help them out. There are just some people in the world that understand others correctly, those are the type of people that I love. Being open minded about everything isn’t always a bad thing. I am very open minded and I listen to what people have to say, sometimes spilling out your heart to a random stranger can actually improve your lifestyle. People who understand whats going on and know what to do are the best type of people to surround yourself with. But always doing the right thing can get boring. People need to get loose and get crazy every once in a while.

Surrounding yourself with different types of people you love is the best way to live life. They will tell you whats right and whats wrong, they will walk with you through hard times, and they will party like there’s no tomorrow. You should live your life to its fullest, have no regrets.

what is beauty

Many people have different views on what they think beauty is. Beauty to a lot of people usually mean someone that is gorgeous such as a movie star or a idol they love. However to some people beauty can mean a perfect moment of something such as a beautiful view of the world. I think that beauty can be many things. When a baby is first born the father or mother will think that what they have just created is the most beautiful thing in the world, that can be considered as beauty.

When you are young, most teenagers will think of beauty and think of a certain movie star they love. People do many thins to become what they think is beautiful. Girls at any age tend to put tons of make up to look beautiful. Some people go through plastic surgery because the really believe that that could make them more perfect. I think that’s not real beauty though. I think real beauty is what you have inside your. The things you say and the thoughts you think show what kind of person you are. If you think beautiful thoughts and do nice things, people will learn to accept your inner beauty no matter how bad your outer appearance is.

Teenage girls will think that being beautiful is one of the most important things in their young lives. Thus we tend to buy unnecessary clothing and jewelry to express ourselves. I myself put on make up everyday and match my clothes. Clothes can also make you beautiful and feel self confidence.

Being self confidence is also a type of beauty that you can express. Being confident but not cocky can be a type of attraction towards certain guys. Some guys find beauty within you, not just your outer looks. That is the type of guy that you want to live the rest of your life with. Girls should stay away form guys that just see the outside.

Beauty is also when you see a perfect moment and you are with someone you really love. That moment to you can feel beautiful and perfect. To me that is real beauty. A feeling that you can express in words only in actions.

When you are with someone you really like you will feel that nothing else can turn you away from that person. A person that makes you feel beautiful when you first wake up in the morning. Beauty is not just outer appearance but it is also a feeling.

Some people think that beauty is just the exterior but they are wrong. There are many things that can express how beautiful you are and you should let people bring you down. People that judge other people based on their appearance to make themselves feel better is true ugliness. Beauty can be expressed in so many different ways depends on who you are and how you look at things.

When you have your first boyfriend and you two are so in love for the first time. That is a very natural feeling and some people will consider that beautiful. Just the same as when you see your first born child and your husband is standing next to you. That feeling will not come to often in your life. You should cherish every beautiful moment that comes your way and you will live a happy life. Beauty is not just looks and people should remember that. It is important to know that everyone has inner beauty.

Inner beauty will express true beauty. However it might take a certain person to bring out your inner beauty and to show you that you are beautiful. Being with someone like that for the rest of your lief will make you happy. Everyone likes the feeling of being beautiful. Waking up to a man that tells you your beautiful every morning will obviously make you happy. Being with a man like that will make you feel that you have lived a good life.

my perfect spouse

Everybody has a perfect spouse. People have a different view of who they want to live the rest of their lives with. Some people look at personalities and some people look at appearance. However I like to look at both. If a man is very handsome but has a terrible personality, they will end up being ugly too. There is a saying that you are who you pretend to be. So my perfect man would have to have the looks and the characteristics or personal traits.

My man would have to look better than everyone else. (: I am very short but I would like my man to be much taller than me. Not to tall but around the height of at least 6 ft. I would like him to have very defined facial features. I would like my man to be very good looking but there are different types of good looks. Some men look very pretty. I don’t like pretty boys because people will think they look girly and look prettier than me. I like men with a very defined jaw and eyes are important. I would like to wake up every morning to the same eyes I went to sleep with. My mans eye color would have to be something that everyone likes to look at. I would enjoy looking into his eyes everyday and not get tired of them. I think the color of someones eyes is a very important trait.

All girls like to be protected and feel secure. Every women hates the feeling of insecurity, that's why I believe a man should always be able to protect his wife or girlfriend. Its very important for the man to stand up for his girl. My perfect spouse would not only have the looks but he would have the courage to stand up for me whenever I needed him. I would want him to be very strong so he can fight for me. But I would not only want his physical aspects to be strong but also emotional wise. I cant deal with guys that cry over everything and everyone. I do not like crying and I would not expect the man I love to cry so easily. My perfect man would have to be strong in every form.

Although my man will be strong and handsome he must also be caring. Women like to be cared and thought of all time. We aren’t toys that boys can just play with and leave to rust. We like to be polished and admired. My perfect man would be very kind to my feelings and always know what to say when the time is right. I want my man to know what to say but I don’t want him to be the very cheesy type of guy. Cheesy can sometimes be fine depends on the timing but not always.

My perfect man is what every girl wants. Its the typical dream man of every girl, however when I meet the right guy I will know for sure that that is the one guy I want to spend the rest of my life with. That will be the one guy that only sees me as his one and only wife.